Leadership as Stewardship

Angwyn and Maria: You’ve said that no one wants a boss. What people really want, you argue, is a leader, a coach, or a mentor. Why does that distinction matter so much?

Bob Chapman: I’ve learned over my career that the words we use shape the behaviour we see. When we call someone a manager, they think they’re supposed to manage. And what does that word really mean? It implies manipulating others for one's own success. A leader, by contrast, is someone who understands that they are a steward of the lives they have the privilege of leading. That’s a massive difference.

I’ll give you an example. A McKinsey partner once invited me to speak at a business school in Amsterdam. After the talk, he rushed into a cab to catch a flight to a client meeting. The driver made a few mistakes, got stuck in traffic, and it became clear my friend would miss his flight. Frustrated, he told the driver to take him back to the office.

Later that day, he walked into the room where I was having lunch with another McKinsey partner. He said, “Bob, I need to tell you a story…I was furious with the cab driver who made me miss my flight. Then on the way back, I remembered your speech and asked myself: is this a cab driver or is this someone’s son? When I recognised that this is someone’s son I’m talking to, it profoundly changed how I behaved with him.”

That single shift in perspective completely changed how he viewed the situation and engaged with the young man who had made an unintentional mistake.

When you see people as functions, be it the cab driver or the accountant, you behave one way. When you see them as someone’s precious child, you behave very differently.

Angwyn and Maria: What do you think should be changed about the way management is traditionally taught?

Bob Chapman: Let me share another story. Doug Parker, the former chairman and CEO of American Airlines, once heard me speak at a church event. I didn’t even know he was in the audience. Afterwards, he came up to me and said, “Bob, I thought my job was to build the world’s biggest airline, which I did. Until today, it never occurred to me that my job was to care for the 130,000 people at American Airlines.”

By treating employees with dignity and respect, leaders profoundly affect their health, their families, and their lives. Yet business education almost never teaches this. We teach economics, strategy, marketing, and law; skills the market wants. What we don’t teach is the most important skill of all: how to be a good steward of human lives.

Angwyn and Maria: You’ve mentioned that universities have become “skills factories”. How did that happen?

Bob Chapman: Originally, education was about developing informed citizens for democracy. But then the Industrial Revolution arrived. Henry Ford needed engineers, accountants, and foremen to run his factories, and universities responded. They gave the market what it wanted.

We’ve built a system where organisations function as economic machines rather than human communities. And the result is what Tom Friedman, a famous writer for The New York Times, called a “poverty of dignity.”

When people feel used rather than cared for, it creates humiliation. And humiliation breeds anger. Despite good salaries, nice cars, and impressive degrees, many people don’t feel valued. That’s why we see so much unrest, depression, and frustration, even in wealthy societies.

There is a deep hunger in the world for caring. Our book on this topic, Everybody Matters: The Extraordinary Power of Caring for Your People like Family, has sold over 110,000 copies in six languages. Harvard wrote a case study on our company that is now taught in universities around the world. People are searching for a better way.

Angwyn and Maria: How do you actually teach leaders to care, without it becoming a buzzword?

Bob Chapman: My greatest fear was that this idea of caring, a vision for leadership rooted in care, would die with me. Then I thought, what did great religions do to survive over millennia? They articulated their beliefs and formed disciples who reaffirm them through stories. So, we created our own internal university where we focused on three human skills.

First: empathetic listening. I initially thought it was ridiculous to teach adults how to listen. I was wrong. Truly listening, without judgment or agenda, is transformational.

Second: recognition and celebration. People need to know they matter, not just on anniversaries or performance reviews, but in everyday, meaningful ways.

Third: a culture of service. Seizing opportunities to serve others.

The impact of teaching these skills was astonishing. I saw grown men and women come to tears, as a result of taking these classes. These skills transformed their marriages, their relationships with their children, and their sense of self-worth.

Angwyn and Maria: How does this vision of leadership relate to technology, automation, and AI?

Bob Chapman: Technology has always changed work. The question is whether we use it to eliminate people or to elevate them.
If we describe human beings as “labour” or “cost,” we dehumanise them. But if we invest in technology so people can rise to higher levels of contribution, using their minds rather than breaking their bodies, that is human enrichment.
AI, like any technology, can be used for good or harm. The responsibility lies with leaders. Technology should free people to do more meaningful work, not make them feel disposable.

Angwyn and Maria: You describe leadership as a privilege. Why?

Bob Chapman: Leadership is no different from parenting. Both are about stewardship of precious lives.

Most leaders are promoted because they have good technical skills and competencies, not because they know how to care for people. Yet the way leaders treat others affects health, families, and entire communities.

Angwyn and Maria: Finally, how should universities like Oxford change the way they teach their students to become good leaders?

Bob Chapman: Start with purpose. Education should form leaders with the skills and courage to care, not just graduates who get good jobs. Human achievement matters as much as academic achievement.

I would love every graduate to write their eulogy before they leave university. What do you want people to say about your life? Let that be your North Star.

You don’t need to be President of the United States or Chair of the Board to live this out. Leadership begins wherever you are, in the everyday moments that shape human lives.